Here’s a bold statement: I’ve been playing football for 15 years, and I’m still terrible at it. But here’s the twist—I absolutely love the game. The thrill of the first whistle, the adrenaline rush of a well-timed tackle, and the way all worries fade away the moment the match begins keep me coming back. So, can someone like me—a self-proclaimed football disaster—completely transform their game in their mid-30s? That’s the question I’m determined to answer.
But here’s where it gets controversial... Despite my passion, I’ve always been comically bad at football. Three left feet, a laughable shot on goal—you name it. I’ve stuck with it for the joy, not the skill. Growing up in the 90s, when women’s football was still finding its footing in England (with only about 80 girls’ clubs compared to over 12,000 today), I was often sidelined by boys who didn’t take me seriously. Yet, I always felt grateful just to play. Fast forward to now, and while I’ve never stopped loving the game, I’m tired of being the weakest link in every beginner team I join. So, this year, I decided to challenge myself: Can I actually get better? And this is the part most people miss—is it even possible to improve at a sport in your mid-30s, after having kids, when you’ve seemingly hit a cosmic skill ceiling?
I reached out to Wayne Phillips, a coach known for his work with women’s teams, and his response was blunt: ‘It’s going to be a battle.’ Fair enough. During our first session, I laid out my weaknesses—poor crossing, freezing under pressure, and a lack of speed with the ball. But I also highlighted my strengths: anticipating the ball’s movement and being a team player who cheers on every lukewarm attempt. Phillips broke down football ability into four core principles: physicality, technical skill, social attributes, and psychology. Together, we mapped out a strict training schedule: one-on-one coaching, group sessions, and weekly matches. I committed to improving my strength and fitness, and we dove in.
Our early drills were humbling. Cruyff turns, step-overs, feints—I failed spectacularly at all of them. By the end of the first session, I wondered if the standards were cruelly unrealistic. But Phillips wasn’t letting me off the hook. He quickly identified my biggest issue: I’d been playing defensively, relying on brute force rather than finesse, because I was too afraid to take risks. He taught me to create angles, receive the ball on my back foot, and even execute reverse passes—moves that felt revolutionary. At group training, I began experimenting with attacking strategies, pinning opponents instead of waiting for them to make the first move. It was exhilarating, but progress wasn’t linear.
And this is where opinions might clash... After a month, I felt worse than when I started. Rookie mistakes, missed passes, and a growing sense of frustration had me questioning if this was even worth it. Phillips reassured me, ‘You’re reinventing yourself. Improvement requires setbacks.’ But it wasn’t until I reframed my mindset—thanks to a metaphor from a friend about relearning trumpet embouchure—that something clicked. I realized I’d been trying to redefine my game without mastering the basics. Once I refocused on fundamentals like cushioning the ball and keeping my head up, my game began to improve. I scored a header in a group session, combined tricks seamlessly, and even started wondering if I could be a striker. Phillips noticed the change, admitting, ‘When I first saw you, I thought, how am I going to deal with this? Now, I’m proud. Every action you made today was clean.’
Looking back, I’ve always been willing to put in the hours, but now I’m putting in the right hours. Juggling training with motherhood and a full-time job hasn’t been easy, but it’s made me intentional. Phillips summed it up perfectly: ‘You take your life seriously. You know what goals you have for yourself, and you make them happen.’ So, did I transform my game? Maybe not completely, but I set out to get better, and I did. And that, in itself, feels like a win.
Thought-provoking question for you: Do you think it’s ever too late to improve at something you love, even if you’re starting from a place of mediocrity? Let’s discuss in the comments!
